Class Gathering Yesterdae...

i went for my class gathering yesterdae... really fun man... but everybody's like saying what JC thye are going to... kinda make me feel left out... but i know im making the right choice...ppl like me dun really belong in a JC.... anywayz.. really had quite a lot of fun... we started playing daidee... hahahah im really getting better and better... hahahah... den we got bored and i forgot how it started but we (wei wei, me and qishuo) start splashing water at each other... really fun.... the place is like filled with water... around the swimming pool... outside the swimming pool... everywhere was water... but anywayz... really fun... and the food was fab... just charred.. but still nice...den when i was waiting for my dad to come and fetch me and some of my friends home... he everytime like that one... always tell me wait at one place... and call me and tell me he cant find me... when im at the right place all along... and i really cant make out what he said in the phone... he really shud go change his phone... the reception of that phone sux... anywayz...he told me to wait at the kopitiam... there are 2 kopitiam.... i waited at the right one and he caalled and said he cant see me (as usual)... den i walked togethre with my frenz to the other one... den he called me and told me he was at the one i originally waited... i was so pissed and embarassed....den the way he speak to me is so damn @#%#%$&^%$.... i hate it when he shouts... i never liked it when anyone shouts at me like this....especially when its not totally my fault.... den we were all damn quiet on the ride...

But none the less.. the merc cab rox... hahahahha...

Merry Christmas!!

Yesterdae i was searching the net for the origin of boxing day.... does anyone even have an idea of what boxing day is?? Its celebrated in only 4 countries.... i tink, and it really have nothing much to do with christmas... its the day when people... poorer people (i guess) recieve donations for chirstmas... i dun knw how to spell... haha... always didnt like english as a sub... Anyway, the gifts that is only recieved by the people the day after christmas for some reasons.... and these gifts are, naturally in boxes.... so the name came by... BOXING DAY...illogical?? well its in the internet... Now... Another joke for Christmas!!

HAVE A MICROSIFT CHRISTMAS....

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except father's mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As father did last-minute Internet shopping.
The stockings were hung next the modem with care In the hope that Santa would bring new software. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, With visions of computer games filling their heads.
Dark Forces for Billy, Doom II is for Dan, Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann. The letters to Santa had been sent out by mom, To santa@toyshop.northpole.com -
Which now had been re-routed to Washington State Where Santa's workshop had been moved by Bill Gates. All the elves and the reindeer had had to skedaddle To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.
After living a life that was simple and spare, Santa now finds that he's a new billionaire, With a shiny red Porsche in place of his sleigh, And a house on Lake Washington just down the way From where Bill has his mansion, and the old fellow preens In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans. The elves have stock options and desks with a view, Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.
No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums Will be under the tree, only compact disk roms With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive, From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.
More rapid than eagles the competitors came, And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name. "Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too, Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you're all of you through,
It's Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist, It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist - Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf, And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.
Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's theme, And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream. To the top of the NASDAQ! To the top of the Dow! Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"
And mum in her 'kerchief and me in my cap, Had just settled down for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The whir and the hum of our satellite platter, As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky, The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy. As I sprang from my bed and was turning around, My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.
And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates. And I heard them exclaim in voices so bright, HAVE A MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS, and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT

Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

Wow... Christmas Eve

Wow... its the time of the year again.... Christmas Time... and i got a bottle of colonge for christmas from my cous this year... she say i must smell nice when i go poly.... hahahahaha.... and my dog got a lot of presents... and she seemed to really like them.... my mum still asked me if i will be going out with frenz for xmas eve... but rather not... my frens are not really outing ppl... but i am going to my class gathreing next wednesdae at my fren's new place, shud be fun... looking forward to that.... Todae my cousin's dogs was also at our house for a few hours, they are really cute todae... veri Guai lor.... rarely see them so quiet.... hahahahha.... well, my sis brought my dog out for some party i guess... and thats all.... pretty boring hah... well, thats life....

Merry Christmas.... well Tomorrow....

More Jokes!!!

This ones really good and i eally wanna remember this for life.... hahahah AIDS campaign can really use this leh... and stop overdosing MTV with Aids ads.... nowadays its all aids this aids that in MTV... really boring liao lor....

161 Condom Solgans

1) Cover your stump before you hump
2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie
4) When in doubt shroud you spout
5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong
7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize
11) She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12) If you go into heat, package your meat
13) While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis
14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse
15) Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker
17) Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18) The right selection, is to protect your erection
19) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil
20) A crank with armor, will never harm her
21) If you really love her, wear a cover
22) Don't make a mistake, cover your snake
23) Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener
24) If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket
25) No glove, no love
26) If you think she'll sigh, cover old one eye
27) Even If she's eager, protect her beaver
28) No one likes a horses ass, protect yourself at climax
29) Shield her from the hunt until you shoot her in the cunt
30) Avoid a frown, contain your clown
31) Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam
32) Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed
33) Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink
34) The weasel you must surround before you please her on the ground
35) Cloak the joker before you poke her
36) Encase that torch before you paint her porch
37) Cape your throbber before you bob her
38) After detection sheath your erection
39) Before you penetrate hide your magistrate
40) Don't surprise her plug your Geyser
41) Cover that lumber before you pump her
42) Protect her wrinkle before you sprinkle
43) She won't bristle if you wrap your whistle
44) House your noodle then release your strudel
45) Put your dog in the pound and make her yelp like a hound
46) Shelter your jerky then nab that turkey
47) Cage that snake then shake and bake
48) Cover your peter it will be much neater
49) Coat that Labrador then allow him to explore
50) It's always funky to cage your monkey
51) It won't be funny with a coatless dummy
52) It won't be fun with an unwrapped thumb
53) It's not much money to catch your honey
54) Don't be a fool cover your tool
55) Hood that match then scratch that thatch
56) Stitch that switch then itch her niche
57) Wrap that tool to catch the drool
58) It ain't no jibe to protect her hive
59) Contain that sputum before you use him
60) Restrain your log then plow her bog
61) Glove your pecker before you check her
62) Coat that slimmer before you prime her
63) Condomize then womanize (or sodomize)
64) Cover old pete then grind her meat
65) Guard your peter before you meet her
66) Check your list before you tryst
67) Wrap your bate before you mate
68) Can your worm before you squirm
69) Cover your pipe you dumb ass wipe
70) Contain your lizard then tickle her gizzard
71) Bag the mole then do her hole
72) Cuff your carrot before you share it
73) Jail your number then call the plumber
74) Cover your vein then drive her insane
75) Wrap that pickle then slip her a tickle
76) Protect your dink then fluff her mink
77) Restrain your lantern then stick it in her cavern
78) Hide ole harry then take her cherry
79) Wrap that spout then bore her out
80) Conceal your train don't cause her pain
81) Guard your bridge then do her ridge >
82) Shroud your trout then make her shout
83) To make her squat like a turkey, cover your Jerky
84) Box your blister then poke her in the whiskers
85) Wrap your spout to catch the trout
86) Plug your funnel then enter the tunnel
87) Cover your steamer before you ream her
88) Protect that fish then dip it in the dish
89) Contain that bass for a swim in her glass
90) Be sure to wear it to feed her ferret
91) Clothe the boner before you hone her
92) Got no protection? Can't use your erection!
93) Cork your pump or you don't hump
94) No unwrapped stags get between my legs
95) Dress that erection to make a deflection
96) Contain that shanker before you spank her
97) Cap that seeder before you breed her
98) Stop the stream before you cream
99) Secure that ladder then drain your bladder
100) Protect your screw to catch that glue
101) Package your meat for a real neat treat
102) Holster your gun then shootings more fun
103) Canvas that trailer before you nail her
104) Garage the tractor then attack her
105) Net that grass hopper before you pop her
106) Sock that wanger before you bang her
107) Pen that rooster, she'll be much looser
108) Trim your hardwood then do her real good
109) Garnish your oak then give her a poke
110) Pouch your associate then go fornicate
111) Smother your affiliate before you ejaculate
112) Confine your fascinate before it regurgitates
113) Catch that goat before it bloats
114) Ensnare that barbarian then do her abdomen
115) Restrain your hammer then wam bam her
116) Prune that stalk then make her squawk
117) Wrap that rod then please her bod
118) Sheath that knife she ain't your wife
119) House that bottle then mash her throttle
120) Sash that hash then thrash that gash
121) Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle
122) Can your knob then throb her swab
123) Contain old Doug then clean her rug
124) Cover your limb before you swim
125) Retain your bailer then impail her
126) Rope your dope then make some soap
127) Net your salamander then make salad in her
128) Cap your flapper then sniff her snapper
129) Wrap that Steed then trample her weeds
130) Hat that chef then scramble her cleft
131) Cover your stone before you bone
132) House your hose then curl her toes
133) Saddle your penis then straddle her mean ass
134) Blanket your twitch then hump that bitch
135) Shield your rocks then pond her box
136) Cover old sly then do her dry
137) Wrap your rail then fill her pail
138) Glove your chimney before you come in me
139) If your nude tube your dude
140) Cloak your hitter then go split her
141) Wrap your nipper before you dip her
142) Can your spam then bam that mam
143) Corral your ram then slice her ham
144) Sheath your sliver then jab her liver
145) Twist your wick then stick that prick
146) Cover old Bart then dart her tart
147) Shed old spot then do her slot
148) Drawer your pip then split her lips
149) Contain that leach then mash her peach
150) Bag your elm then take the helm
151) Constrain your gem to catch the flem
152) Catch that head cheese or I won't spread these
153) Constrain that agate you ain't no faggot
154) Survey your land then plant her stand
155) Before you drive her protect that diver
156) Sack that slimy smelt then tan her beaver pelt
157) Wrap that stiffer then let him sniff her
158) Cover you post then slice her roast
159) Blanket old juicy then plug old loosey
160) Balloon your baboon the moon tune her poon
161) Contain that viper before you pipe her

I am Teriibly Sorry if it offended anyine who saw this..... but its damm funny.....

Todae My Mummie's Birthdae... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
And ya... ONLY 2 DAYS till Xmas!!!

Season of Giving

Being the season of Giving and I have decded to give everyone who visit my blog a laugh, or at least i will laugh whenever i see these jokes i put up... the site i went is really cool, i tink its called somejokes .com or something... but they have a lot of jokes there.... hope its still there 10 years down the road so i can still laugh my head off whenever im bored like this again... Those who are offended by dirty jokes can just dun see.... but who would??

Thumbs Up!!

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for a weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back
and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip air ticket. If he could
just get to the airport he could get himself home.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from
home, offering his credit card numbers, his driver's license number and his address but to no
avail.
The cabbie said, "if you don't have $15, get the hell out of my cab".
So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his
flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success,
returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the
front of the casino to get a cab back to the airport.
Well, who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had
refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.
The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity
and he hit on a plan.
The businessman got in the first cab in the line. 'How much for a ride to the airport?' he asked.
'Fifteen bucks,' came the reply.
'And how much for you to give me a blow job on the way?'
'What? Get the hell out of my cab you arsehole!'
The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with
the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, 'How much for a ride to the airport?'
The cabbie replied, 'Fifteen bucks.'
The businessman said 'OK' and off they went.
Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and
thumbs-up sign to each driver

Hahahaha.... happy holidays....3 days left!!

Photo

I Tot i would lose it if my Com hangs again from bad feng shui.... so might as well put it in here.... i really like it... it was one of the Five Retrievers i saw there...

Wo.....

OMG... i almost forgot i got blog liao... so many stuff happened already: O lvls, my fist job, the first time i dyed my hair... really nice colour... and i am going to get my ipod soon!!!
Its like all of a sudden that ive got so many CDs... I got S.H.E's latest and also Linsay Lohan's A little bit more personal and also the click five's Cd... all veri nice and the songs really get catchy... one day i was shitting in the toilet when i suddenly started humming S.H.e's song... strange rite... Hahaha....
Yesterdae i went to Tampines Mall with my frenz... Oh Boy wasnt that a really stupid thing to do... next time ill settle for heartland liao... the whole thing just really seem so rushing and impatient... sian lor... but i saw these really nice bermuds at Op... but no money to shift out from the budget of my IPOD!!!... We were on the escalater when i was thinking maybe we shud watch a movie the next time.. den we started making fun of the chronicles of NARNIA... the witch , the lion and the wardrobe... i bet everyone will be thinking WHATS THE CONNECTION? when they saw the title... well we tot of some that might be the cause
1. the witch killed the lion and hid it in the wardrobe
2. the lion ate the witch and hid in the wardrobe
3. the witch was turned into a wardrobe beside a lion
4. the witch was cooking the lion in the wardrobe
5. the lion was chewing the witch and spat her out in the wardrobe
6. the witch made a wardrobe out of the lion
7. (RA) the witch was having s** with the lion in the wardrobe... those who know me wont doubt that i would sae something like this....

so those fans, producers and those who might probably sue me for this.... i jus would like to sae....................................................... my parents are already bankrupt so dun even think you can get conpensation from me..... and im sorry if youre offended or think its not funny.....

Only 4 days till Xmas so MERRY 4 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!